The Emotional Journey Of Grief and Our Pets: Understanding and Coping with the Agonizing Loss and Why I will Always Choose the Unconditional Love They Give.
The depth of a human and Pet bond is something along the lines of pure magic. They enter our lives when we least expect it. They steal our hearts and often leave us when we need them most, catching us by surprise. or we know their time is upon us and we dread making the horrific decision of letting them go. They give us unconditional love, routine and dependence, emotional support and so much more. When we lose our sweet pets, our beloved family members, it is a pain I would never wish on my worst enemy. When we choose to love and care for a pet, we will also except the inevitable grief that comes with their loss. This is the price we pay for the joy and companionship they bring into our lives.
For as long as I can remember, animals and children have been drawn to my gentle spirit. Though i’m not a huge fan of kids and have no regrets about being childless in my 40s, I have always had pets and even made a career of it. I started KLouWags 15+ years ago. Starting it out as a dog walking, pet sitting business in beautiful Long Beach Ca. When 20/20 happened, like most , I too had to pivot. I expanded to selling my pet bandannas, and pet CBD line, to more then just my everyday clients.
Most recently, PoPs Pins by KLouWags was born in memory of my sweet Kpop who tragically passed away just shy of six weeks ago. Needless to say it left me shattered. Absolutely gutted! With my line of work, I see the grief and change in people over and over . As of right now I have 77 clients on my roster so you can imagine how often I lose a pal, and see the pain the parents go through. I almost have become numb to it so I can stay strong for my clients. Though on the inside it rips my heart apart. One common question I receive is, “ Will it get better? Does the pain go away? Will I ever love a pet again?” and the answer I always give is a long the same lines. “ Sadly no to getting over it. You are now forever changed, and must learn to adapt to your new normal. A normal where a new and painful hole resides in your heart. You will love again. You will know when the time is right. and I truly believe your previous baby will be responsible for sending you your next love.” Its not an easy journey, and everyone’s journey with pet loss is different. There is no correct answer on how to get through it. Each individual will either let the pain and despair over come them so intensely and let it destroy them and sadly they will not allow themselves to love again. A very dark and toxic path to go down. Animals come into our lives to help us grow and evolve not destroy us. Or others allow themselves to unpack it, work through it, feel it, embrace it, learn from it and remember the beautiful unconditional love their pet gave, and rise above. I will always choose option number two no matter how hard. I will always choose to rise and create through all the pain.
The grieving process generally involves several stages. some of those might be denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Here are some of the coping strategies I use to help with the process.
Acknowledge Your Grief: Allow yourself to feel and express your emotions without judgement. Grieving is a natural response to loss.
Seek Support: Share your feelings with friends, family or support groups. Connecting with others who understand your pain can be comforting.
Create a memorial: Consider creating a tribute to your pet, such as a photo album, scrapbook, a dedicated space in your home or something that when you are reminded of your sweet pet you are reminded to smile. For me I created PoPs Pins. I already sold cute enamel pins because they help people to smile and I live to see people smile. Kpop had that effect on people. Bringing instant smiles and radiating pure love and light. So my hope now, is when people buy her pins, its a simple and gentle reminder to smile and be the love and light of the world.
Self-Care: We forget to take care of ourselves sometimes, especially when grieving. Be sure to do what feels right for you when you think of self-care. Engage in activities that promote your well-being, such as exercise, hobbies, or spending time in nature, Taking care of yourself is crucial at this time. For me , I am so very blessed with my line of work. Being surrounded by animals all day everyday and the unconditional love they give, really helps the healing of my heart. The love and light they give and I give them is an instant charge of happiness.
In conclusion I just want to remind everyone that when you choose to love an animal and allow them to be loved by you, there is no avoiding the grief that will come for either you or the pet. The grief of losing a pet is a profound and personal journey. You are not alone in this process. By understanding the depth of the bond we have with pets , that is so incredibly beautiful and special, we can understand and acknowledge the grieving process, that comes with loving a pet. Whether you are going through it yourself or others around you, stay kind and gentle. We must allow the process and not dismiss the true sadness and beauty in the whole thing. To my baby girl, my little firecracker born on the 4th of July only four short years ago, fly high, my lil PoP! Thank you for the love and comfort you brought me and the boys, at such a dark time in my life. I truly believe you lived your exact purpose, tho so incredibly short your journey was so profound, magical, and beyond important for so many unseen reasons! Until we meet again my little spit fire! For so many of us out there who has had to and are grieving a pet, my heart is with us all. May we truly remember the unconditional love they gave us, the magic they brought into our hearts, and smile,